Becoming Like Our Parents
When I was younger I always thought I wasn't anything like my parents. I didn't think I really looked like either of them and I definitely didn't think I acted like them. I mean come on they were my parents and parents are like totally lame right?
As I progressed through high school and then college when I really started to develop into my own person little did I realize how I was developing that resembled my parents. Mid way through high school I really got into classic rock and my love progressed from there. The Doors ended up becoming one of my favorite bands, I would listen to their music all the time. One day when I was looking through my Dad's records I discovered that he had several Doors albums. He just chuckled at my astonishment that he could like such a cool band and commented that he enjoyed them way before I'd even been a thought!
The past few years I've noticed that I have acquired a lot of the same mannerisms as my Mom. It was never a really evident thing before but it hit me one night as we were both talking. Not even talking to each other mind you. I could see her out of the corner of my eye making the same gestures. Needless to say I was totally taken aback since I knew I had been making certain ones for a while now. Ahh! You do become your mother don't you?!
Last night I realized another way I'm becoming more like my parents. Through my grandfather becoming sick, passing away then the last few years of my grandmother's life I saw my parents being so caring and compassionate with the situation. I can't speak for my brother but I know at the beginning I was uncomfortable with bringing my grandmother to the retirement community and how to act there. It wasn't just the more we visited that made me more comfortable but the way my parents helped me adjust to the situation helped as well.
It's somewhat hard to describe without actually having a video to show you an instant replay. Yesterday Kevin and I went to see his grandmother in the rehab facility. She was not feeling well and after a hospital visit needs to be in assisted living now. We sat with her while she ate dinner and I could tell Kevin wasn't feeling quite as comfortable. I just started chatting with her, talking to her about how she was feeling and such. Topics that I know Kevin's parents had been stressing about came up and I tried to be very positive about them and not let his grandmother get negative about them.
When I was driving to Kevin's parents for dinner after I realized that most of the conversation we had was so much like many my parents had had with my grandmother. When we retold our conversation to his parents I could tell they were relieved how she responded and discovered that she had felt comfortable enough to tell us things she had not mentioned to Kevin's parents. Instead of freaking out that I'm becoming more like my parents in that respect it feels wonderful.
Maybe it's OK to take on some of our parents best traits!
Posted by Betsy